July 25, 2009
Crossroads 6
I have come to a crossroad with this blog and I am not sure how I am going to proceed. I’ve mentioned it before but I have seriously been considering closing this blog for a while, if not for good. I used to feel a lot of joy from posting about our lives, our work, and our passions. I really enjoyed the feedback that I would get from posting about a problem or when I had a question about something. I felt like I was able to use words as art in some posts. I just got a lot of satisfaction out of writing and photographing just for the sake of having our histories saved in a blog format for our loved ones to read.
Since the big hack-job was done to my site, the winds were knocked out of my sails..alot. I felt like my photography skills were starting to decline instead of getting better and so I felt like I never had great photos to share. I have felt like I was competing with other blogs and there is no need for that. And, most of my down time (when Catherine is asleep) I am either working or hanging out with John trying to reconnect with him. I haven’t had the desire nor did i really want to make the time to write posts. So the blog has been a bit neglected lately.
After a recent post that I had written was completely misconstrued, I was lambasted by some of the comments and emails that I received. I realized that number one,1 I was losing my touch for explaining what the full situation entailed, number 2- people don’t understand our family dynamic and work situations, and number 3- that I was allowing myself to feel overly-sensitive to feedback that I considered to be hurtful. This whole situation has caused for me to reevaluate on whether or not it’s worth it to keep the blog open. I’m wondering whether or not it’s worth it to share my thoughts or my situations to people who may or may not see the complete picture of our lives because I don’t want to have to worry about getting hurtful feedback.
So, I am at the point where I will be making a decision about whether I will be closing the blog completely, making a private blog, or continue the blog but with much more limitations on what I write and post. Or maybe I will write about something completely different. Anyway, I wanted to let you all know where I am coming from. And as soon as I make my decision I will make a post. I am on Facebook if you are interested in following me over there.
Jul 26, 2009 @ 05:37:50
Wendy: I am so sorry that you received negative and hurful feedback about a post. I read every one, and have no idea what you are referring to, meaning that I didn’t take it that way — whatever it was. I have definitely enjoyed reading your blog, and especially loved the privilege of praying Catherine home and for you and John while you were in China, but I do understand and will respect whatever you choose to do with your blog. Please just know that it was not in vain, and that there are those of us who are interested in your life; it is fascinating to me. I have a greater appreciation for those in fire service due to your postings on the subject and if that was the only thing that came out of it, it was worth it! Blessings, Destiny
Jul 26, 2009 @ 08:13:41
I think you are an excellent writer when you have the time to write, so I hope you keep at it, but I also know that there is no way I – personally – could have (or should have) blogged our first two years home with the Tongginator. Every family situation is different – for us, it was about boundaries, time and energy. I didn’t have any time or energy… and there were way too many boundaries I felt I couldn’t cross. It just didn’t seem worth it – to me.
Whatever you decide, be well and at peace. I’ve enjoyed this glimpse into your life. And I, like Destiny, learned so much about those in the fire service.
Jul 26, 2009 @ 08:16:22
I hope you do not feel like my comments were negative in any way. I’ve been where you are…heck, in many ways, I’m still there. I’m spread so thin…feel like so many things are demanding of me. And Megan very much wants mommy, mommy, mommy. It makes it very hard for me to do the things I want to do…have been called to do…outside of being a mom. Heck, I’d just like 30 minutes without anything demanding on me, where I can simply a relaxing book, watch a mind-numbing tv program, heck, just sit in the tub listening to classical music! But, alas, that is not in my future…at least not until Megan becomes more self-sufficient and until the dissertation is done…and neither look to happen within the next 12 months.
Oh, boy I desperately hope you don’t feel like I was in ANY way judging you as I was not.
My blogging has been taking a back seat as well. Like you, I’ve wanted mine to be an opportunity for family who live far away to “experience” our daily life as much as possible. There’s only so much time in the day…and so much energy.
I pray that as you are searching for your answer about the blog, that you find it. I am amazed when I read blogs and people post yucky comments to the post. How can you not take it personally? I’m so sorry that you experienced that when you were sharing your heart. That just breaks mine.
Jul 27, 2009 @ 20:38:40
I also have read most of the comments and have never seen anything that would be taken as negative. I love reading your blog as you have a gift of writing. I wish I did. You say things that I feel and have never been able to express as well. I totally understand if you don’t have the time. I was pulled in many ways Sarah’s first two years here and am just coming out of it and it has been 4 years.
I love you!
Jul 28, 2009 @ 19:07:32
If you are not happy with how you are serving your blog, I would slow down, maybe take it private for a year. Get refreshed! Enjoy your DH and daughter. We love seeing you (blog or FB). But we understand. We have had a lack of energy since having AA too. Take care of yourself.
Alyzabeth’s Mommy for Ten Months!
Jul 29, 2009 @ 11:35:49
Hey Wendy
Regarding your remark about photography: “I felt like my photography skills were starting to decline instead of getting better and so I felt like I never had great photos to share.”
Please do not get discouraged. I believe as artist we put ourselves through different phases. Just know that I love your photography. You have a great gift in this field. I myself thought that if I did not spend all my time on one art, that I was loosing my touch. That is who we are as artist. Our life is busy and sometimes we focus on some other skill. Do not give up on your photography. You got it girl…you rock.
Love ya, Lisa