March 15, 2009
Helping Those Who Hurt- Care Calendars 1
When an individual or family experiences a life changing event, the first thing a friend wants to do is provide a meal. There is something about a hot casserole that seems to have the word ‘help’ written all over it. Maybe that’s where the term ‘comfort food’ came from.
During the first few days after a death, the family is usually inundated with take-out food, home-made dishes, junk food, and sodas. I can’t tell you how many times I have walked into the over-flowing kitchens of grieving people to find unopened boxes of KFC or picked at pizza crusts. And while the kitchen can be a place where loved ones meet to talk abou the matter at hand, it can also be a place that causes much stress. You see, the kitchen has to be cleaned at some point. Uneaten or spoiled food has to be thrown away. Other food has to be organized and put away and dishes have to be cleaned. Some families have loved ones who will do that for the grieving family but some don’t and it can leave them feeling crushed by the weight of good intentions.
After the first few days of what I call ‘food inundation,’ the meals seem to dry up quickly and then the family is left to fend for themselves once again. This is where the other end of the helping pedulum swings because at this point the family still doesn’t have the energy or even the desire to cook, clean or be seen in public and yet they still need to eat.
So what’s a helping friend supposed to do? Setting up a meal schedule is really the only way to go. In the internet age meal and chore calendars become easy and can be the central location where everyone (church, friends, clubs, and community members) can sign up to help. The care calendar is place where friends and loved ones can sign up for a meal, care giving or a chore without duplicating efforts and the family can see who is bringing them the meal on a particular day. Care calendars can be modified with diet restrictions, times of meals, number of people to be served, and what chores need to be done and when. It’s a perfect solution to what can be a messy problem.
Here are a couple of my favorites:
The next time a friend or family member needs the long term care of loved ones, I highly suggest setting up and coordinating a care calendar. It’s easy, interactive and can make a huge impact on the affected individual without causing unnecessary stress.
Mar 16, 2009 @ 13:12:08
Smart idea!