September 12, 2007

A Complaint Free Day- Finding Contentment ⁴

by Wendy • The Corners of my Life

I have started two new studies.  One I am doing on my own and it’s
about suffering.  It’s really, really, really good.  The other one I am
doing with my friend Lisa at a church.  That study is called Calm My
Anxious Heart, Finding Contentment.  When Lisa asked if I would be
interested in this particular study, I jumped all over it.  With
everything that has been happening over the past year, I would love to
be calm about my circumstances. 

I went to the first group meeting and received my book and a card with the following Bible verse:
Philipians 4:11-13 "For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

That’s a cool verse, but I feel like I am pretty content in most circumstances. Heck, I have slept on church floors and eaten MRE’s during disaster without a complaint.  But, when the offer to sleep on a cruise ship and eat cruise ship food came up, you bet I was willing to take on that assignment.  But still, I thought I was pretty good about not complaining.  On the other hand, I thought, my dear husband could use this study.  He can be a big complainer sometimes!  Surely he needs some contentment in his heart.

Being the studious, overachiever, multi-tasker that I am (snicker), I hopped on my stationary bike and began to read the first week’s assignment, Chapter 1.  I was going along pretty well, being a little prideful about myself when I read the story of a missionary in Africa.  She lived a life of contentment and followed the following rules:

• Never allow yourself to complain about anything- not even the weather.
• Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
• Never compare your lot with another’s.
• Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
• Never dwell on tomorrow-remember that tomorrow is God’s not ours.

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?!?  Have ya’ seen the crap that has happened in my life lately?  The suffering myself and my family has gone through…and I am not supposed to complain?  I am not supposed to picture myself with my future daughter?  Should I not wish for better things and better outcomes for the disasters that have happened in our lives?  Heck, a tropical storm suddenly formed off the coast and is headed our way and I am supposed to be content?!?  What the heck?

My lofty self-belief that I was content and not a complainer came crashing down.  Maybe I actually complained more than my husband.  I am not so keen about this study now, how am I supposed to live up to some missionary in Africa?  Well, I guess I will try.  I could use some self-improvement and obviously I have some pride issues that need to be dealt with. )  So I decided that today I would try to go the whole day without complaining.  I did great until I met up with a friend for lunch and we start complaining about everything from A-Z.  Wow, I have a bigger problem with contentment than I thought.  Every time I complained, that little voice in my head pointed it out.  ‘GOOD GRIEF! Can’t I just have some talk time with my friend?!’ I yelled back at my little voice, which is probably God trying to tell me something.  But I felt convicted and decided to stop, which was really, really hard.  Although I was a little disgruntled which is probably not the best attitude to take.  Great..something else to work on.

Anyway, I am back to square one and will start again tomorrow with trying not to complain.  We will see how it goes.  Maybe I will actually start to become more content?